Watch Big Brother Season 1 Online

On the first show, an hourlong affair, an instantly dislikable chucklehead host named Ian O'Malley shows us around the house while a dopey correspondent from CBS's dreadful ""The Early Show,"" Julie Chen, acts enthusiastic as the 10 residents travel to the house, O.J. style, in a caravan of SUVs. O'Malley shows us the house, including the confession room (where, each day, each resident is required to go in and share his or her feelings) and the bathroom (monitored to prevent the residents from sneaking into the toilet or shower to have private conversations). Meanwhile, Chen chats vapidly with the residents' friends and families, whom the show has gathered outside the house. At the end of the hour, the residents finally arrive. They meet one another and go into the house. The door shuts behind them. They roam from room to room. A solitary Jordan is caught at the end, gazing at the cameras and the two-way mirrors pensively, reality dawning. It's a lyrical scene.